Hello friends

I'm trying to make this as short and sweet as possible as I am rushing this post out before I leave for church (early, as it has just stopped raining and I want to get to church early as I am on duty for ppt today. So yes in case the bus is all ngeh) but I just feel the need to post so yup. :-) I can't not blog/stay away from my blog, and since I have finished all I have set out to do this morning/early afternoon, I am here :-)

Recently, I have been having a lot of time to myself, in my room, essentially cramming down all the information that I will need for my finals. So the bulk of my holidays have been spent in my room, either sprawled on my bed trying to memorise something, or on my desk trying to work out some impossible math question or studying/revising things. And apart from actually managing to cram all of that down in my head, there are times when I find myself looking out of the window or just staring into space thinking.

It is a nice feeling to be detached from the world for those small pockets of time before reality pulls me back to  my books. I have been thinking about things, in these small little pockets of time. How some things would have turned out so differently if I had made different choices at different points of my life, and people in general. My friends. The people I have to live with that drive me insane most of the time. Things that have been going on. And sometimes I get so happy at how things have turned out to be, in ways I have not expected but are lovely all the same. And then I get into a really good mood for the rest of the day.

And then there are times when I think of terrible things, things that should not have happened, things that are taking a twist for the worst and I can't seem to direct back to the right track. How I should let go of such things and how I don't want to. And I wonder to myself sometimes, how much I am worth to the people around me, because there are instances when this quote that I have read in a Jodi Picoult book just pops up in my head "that in a relationship, there's always one who loves more" I am sure that this does not only refer to couple relationships but relationships in general and this always puts me down.

So yes those are my thoughts the past few days summed up into 2 paragraphs, some thoughts that just cannot be put down into words, but well. I am very worried for EOYs, and I'm trying my best. (Well, I hope you realise that i do because I am coming to the point where I can't really be bothered what you think of me anymore)

And as my sister always tells me, "Its all part of God's big plan" and that is something I will always be counting on.
xxxx